tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77998893821160368592024-03-13T05:38:34.857-07:00The Redneck Vegan KitchenGregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-92098875301920497542012-05-29T10:27:00.001-07:002012-05-30T06:54:28.243-07:00Black-eyed peas and cawwn bread<div>
What is this "black-eyed peas are for New Years" bullshit? I ate black-eyed peas at least once a week for pretty much my entire childhood. Growing up in the South, black-eyed peas are not special occasion food. They are cheap, good, and actually fairly healthy, even when flavored with bacon fat or ham, so my family ate them pretty much constantly. My grandmother used to make black-eyed peas ALL the time, and pair them with cornbread. She used a pretty simple combination of ingredients to flavor the peas -- garlic and onion powder, salt, and pepper.This would be pretty much the sole vegan dish that was at the table on a regular basis, since she rarely used pork to flavor it. This flavor combination worked, but I like to jazz mine up a little more. </div>
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<u>Ingredients</u>: </div>
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<br />
<ul>
<li>One 12 oz. package of dried black-eyed peas, soaked overnight</li>
<li>Two tablespoons of <a href="http://www.tonychachere.com/">Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning</a> </li>
<li>Four bayleaves </li>
<li>One small medium red onion, thickly sliced</li>
<li>Four slices of <a href="http://www.tofurky.com/tofurkyproducts/deli_slices.html">Tofurky Hickory Smoke Deli Slice</a>s, cut into strips </li>
</ul>
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This will make a really big pot, which is great because now you have leftovers that heat up very easily in the microwave. Or you can just halve everything and make a smaller batch.<br />
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I like to serve this over a slice of cornbread. For this is use a basic recipe from <a href="http://www.theppk.com/books/veganomicon-the-ultimate-vegan-cookbook/">the Veganomicon</a>, which I remember by heart:<br />
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<u>Ingredients: </u><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>(Dry)</li>
<li>2 cups of cornmeal</li>
<li>1 cup of all-purpose flour</li>
<li>1/4 cup sugar </li>
<li>1 teaspoon salt</li>
<li>2 teaspoons baking powder</li>
<li>(Wet)</li>
<li>2 cups plain soymilk</li>
<li>2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar </li>
</ul>
Preheat your oven to 350F with a greased cast-iron skillet in there. Mix the wet together and let it curdle while you mix together the dry is a large bowl. After you mix all the dry stuff thoroughly, make a well and add the wet. Mix it together and then pour the mixture into your how cast iron skillet. Bake it for about 35 minutes.<br />
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I like to use brown sugar instead of white. There are also some variations you can do with the cornbread, like saute onions of but I like to keep mine simple. I like to eat this with something green, fried okra, something meat-like (a MS Farms bbq strip for example). </div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09836347048195891733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-61399364484440397102012-05-17T17:47:00.003-07:002012-05-18T09:30:18.235-07:00My approach to veganism<br />
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I’m not very good at being an animal right’s activist. I
support animal rights, but I’m not on the front lines protesting (much),
handing out literature (much), taking part in direct action (at all), and the
like (at least not on a regular basis). I do volunteer for things that I think
improve my community, but I was raised in the South, and was taught that you
don’t make a show out of the good things you do. Contrary to popular belief,
the wave of self-righteous Evangelical Christianity is a relatively new thing.
My great grandparents were very religious, devout Christians, but lived by the
Biblical principle that you don’t make your piety and your self-perceived righteousness
the first thing people notice about you.</div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites.
For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners,
that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their
reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your
Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.<br />
<o:p> </o:p>-Matthew 6:5-6 </blockquote>
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I’m not a religious person, but I do think that there is
some wisdom in this principle. You can do something because you truly believe in
it, or you can do something the show everyone else how great you are. I’m far
from a perfect man, and I have had my self-righteous moments, but I can
genuinely say that I try hard not be a holier-than-thou douchebag when it comes
to my support of animal rights. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m not big into animal rights philosophy or ideology. My
support for animal rights was a journey of self-discovery based on one
fundamental truth I could not ignore: the animals we consume are sentient
beings, capable of feeling pain, happiness, and fear, and that no matter how
much I liked meat or dairy, their right to live free from undue suffering FAR
outweighs my craving for a double bacon cheeseburger and a strawberry
milkshake. (And I LOVED double bacon cheeseburgers and strawberry milkshakes!) <o:p></o:p></div>
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I try to be openminded, but I am skeptical of notions
like speciesism and abolitionism. I know there are some very dedicated and good
people that strongly believe in these concepts, and I don’t want to question
their motivations in any way. I do, however, question the efficacy of some of
the more hardline approaches to animal rights. Getting people to change their
minds about something is one of the hardest things to do, period. And one thing
I think most vegans – the more and the less ideologically inclined – can agree
on is that in almost every society today (especially American society) we are
raised to ignore the suffering of animals. Overcoming this socialization is, to
put it bluntly, really fucking hard! It took me a long time to come around to
finally embracing veganism as a lifestyle, so who the fuck am I to judge
someone who hasn’t? <o:p></o:p></div>
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People are often surprised when they find out I’m vegan.
In many ways I’m a normal guy. I like to drink more than I should. I have a
sick, twisted, and caustic sense of humor. I appreciate <a href="http://www.kennypowers.com/">Kenny Powers</a> on a more
than ironic level. Unlike “typical” (stereotypical) vegan men, I’m not into
eating healthy – which is kind of the point of this blog. I’m not anything
close to being a hippie or a metrosexual. Politically, I don’t consider myself
a liberal or a leftist, and I don’t think to appreciate the sentience of other
species you need to be. I also have a huge college football problem. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I once posted a joke on one of my favorite sports message
boards about my recipe for vegan eggnog. It was two ingredients: Johnny Walker
Black in a coffee mug. It was (obviously) meant to be a joke. I got a response something
to the effect of, “That’s the first vegan recipe I’ve ever seen that sounds
awesome.” I’m under no delusions that I converted anyone to veganism with that
silly post, but I possibly did make someone (or maybe even more than one!)
think that vegans can be likely anyone else. Veganism can and should be relatable to most people. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I think the best way to help end animal suffering is to
make people think and understand that consuming animals is a choice, as that is best accomplished by being a salient cultural force. Vegans being present and visible,
but not in-your-face is the best way to do that. What we need is not more
animal rights ideologues. What we need are more vegans! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p>Okay -- the rest of this is a bit tangential, but relevant. </o:p>This has become longer than I intended. I have tried my
hand of humor writing before (<a href="http://redneckvegankitchen.blogspot.com/2012_03_01_archive.html">here </a>and on an <a href="http://www.andthevalleyshook.com/2010/10/10/1742634/better-know-your-coach-les-miles">LSU blog</a>) I kind of think what veganism needs is a good humor
writer, as opposed to yet another blog on animal rights philosophy. I'm not saying I'm up for this, or good enough, but this is my
idea – a brief snippet where I will point the guns away from my vegan brothers
and sisters and toward the meat industry. The subject: fast food chicken
nuggets. Go!</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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What the animal right activist says about them to a non-vegan: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
They are usually made from chickens who are kept in
cramped conditions, with beaks chopped off, unable to move, genetically modified,
sad, suffering, and hopeless. They are pumped full of hormones and antibiotics,
then brutally slaughtered by people who work in subhuman conditions with no
safety standards, mechanically separated, portioned back together piecemeal,
and artificially pressed into nugget shapes. This process is cruel, inhuman,
and a sad commentary on our society. </blockquote>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b7L3xnQC3EM/Twq938g2VGI/AAAAAAAABDA/4SJ-KNjQZCw/s1600/yawn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="276" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b7L3xnQC3EM/Twq938g2VGI/AAAAAAAABDA/4SJ-KNjQZCw/s320/yawn.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, how inter-uhhhhhh</td></tr>
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Now all of that shit is true, but I would put it a
different way. Check it:</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Most people think chicken nuggets are made of actual
chickens. This is true in a nominal sense. They are more like blind, crippled,
suffering creatures that happen to remotely genetically resemble what we casually
think of as a chicken. These miserable things are shot up with that same shit
that Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens took for decades (so it’s gotta be safe,
right?), while having their DNA fucked with to the point that they have three
heads while being able to be successfully grown upside down in a garbage can right outside the basement of an unsavory
rural Chinese train station. After being “harvested” they are then pureed into
something that resembles soft-serve strawberry ice cream. </blockquote>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn.breitbart.com/mediaserver/Breitbart/Big-Journalism/2012/03/22/mechanically-separated-chicken-mcnugget.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://cdn.breitbart.com/mediaserver/Breitbart/Big-Journalism/2012/03/22/mechanically-separated-chicken-mcnugget.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mmmm.... Delicious! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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That's how I roll bitches.<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09836347048195891733noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-16712924911162928692012-05-05T20:24:00.000-07:002012-05-05T20:24:32.512-07:00The art of whipping up a good marinadeI've noticed that I'm actually getting more and more pageviews on this blog. God only knows why, but hey, I'll take it. I feel obliged to actually write a little something, and I guess I will touch on something that's actually a little topical as we head into the summer months: marinade for grilling stuff.<br />
<br />
The first thing you need to know about making a marinade, or pretty much anything else food related that isn't baking: this shit ain't science. I've posted a <a href="http://redneckvegankitchen.blogspot.com/2011/04/setting-shit-on-fire-portabells-and.html">marinade recipe before</a>, but sometimes I think that by focusing so much on recipes that we forget that just winging it sometimes can work. I made a marinade today with my friend Karla to use for portabellas and brussel sprouts, and it was a lot similar to the one I made before, but with a few differences. I decided I would try apple cider vinegar instead of white, since she had some, and I added some cayenne pepper. I didn't measure anything and my friend told me it was some of the best I'd ever made. I know everyone doesn't feel comfortable just "eyeballing" stuff, but I think a lot of cooking is about confidence and trusting your instincts. If you make something that's not so good, well that's fine -- we've all done it. I think it's good though to not be afraid of screwing up a bit. Also, it's hard to really screw up a marinade to the point where you make bad food. That's because you can (and should!) give it a taste before you actually use it. If it's good, you know to use it. If it's not, throw it out and try again.<br />
<br />
Some thoughts on making good marinade:<br />
<br />
1) Keep the ingredients list small. I subscribe to the idea that we should be as simple as possible in cooking. Never use seven ingredients when three will get the job done. Don't add stuff just for the sake of adding stuff. I think of this kind of like mixing paint. If you want to get a good color, keep it simple: yellow and blue will make green, for example. If you want a lighter green, carefully add some white. But you have to exercise some caution. If you insist on mixing in more and more colors you will just end up with an ugly grayish-brown.<br />
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2) Think of complimentary flavors. Brown sugar and cumin go very well together. Vinegars and fats work well together (especially balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil). Think of your favorite complimentary/contrasting flavors. There, you already have an inspiration for a really good marinade. Also keep in mind that not everything goes well together (which I why I discussed above that you shouldn't keep adding stuff, because if you do eventually you find two ingredients that don't like each other, or more likely, add an ingredient that conflicts with several of the ingredients you already added).<br />
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />3) Don't go for subtlety. Marinades aren't about nuance. They are about hitting you over the head with "holy shit, that's really good" flavor.<br />
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4) Don't be afraid to experiment. This is how I found out that beer works really well in a marinade. You can always whip up small batches and give it a quick taste to see how it works. I'm doing to try doing something with red wine soon. (Suggestions always welcome.)<br />
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5) Soy sauce be salty, yo. It's great, don't get me wrong, and is a nice starting point for lots of marinades. But it's potent shit, so don't go nuts with it. I find it's good to cut soy sauce with broth or beer. (I don't think wine would work though. I have not tried it, but I feel pretty confident in that.)Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09836347048195891733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-61035948472969598872012-04-19T14:36:00.000-07:002012-04-19T14:36:42.444-07:00"Chicken" noodle soupWhat excuse do I have this time? I've used the I'm-depressed-because-some-soulless-harpy-tore-out-my-heart excuse in the past. I've used the I'm-a-busy-guy excuse. Neither of those apply. I'm just lazy I suppose. I've been incredibly unmotivated, which sucks because some people have been wanting this recipe since they tried it at a recent vegan potluck I went to. Potlucks aren't the best places for soups in general, but I wanted to show this off. So yeah, for those of you wanting this, I'm sorry it took me so long. Feel free to guilt me in the future bout stuff; it works as a good motivational tool for me.<br />
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Okay, this is my recipe for fake chicken noodle soup. It pretty much tastes like the real thing, as has been confirmed by several omnivorous friends, as well as my own memory.<br />
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<u>Ingredients</u>:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Five celery stalks, chopped fairly thin</li>
<li>Four large carrots (or like twenty baby carrots), chopped</li>
<li>One medium onion, diced</li>
<li>Five cloves of garlic, minced</li>
<li>One teaspoon of red pepper flakes (or more if you like)</li>
<li>About one cup of fairly well chopped seitan (use <a href="http://redneckvegankitchen.blogspot.com/2011/01/lets-start-with-seitan.html">this recipe</a>) </li>
<li>Extra virgin olive oil </li>
<li>Four cups of <a href="http://www.superiortouch.com/retail/products/better-than-bouillon/vegetarian-bases/43/no-chicken-base">Better Than Bouillon vegetarian fake chicken base</a></li>
<li>Three to four bayleaves (depending on size)</li>
<li>Half a pound of dried linguine pasta (half of a regular package) </li>
</ul>
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I'm sure there are other good vegetarian chicken broths out there, but the Better Than Bouillon is the only one I can vouch for. It's damn good. I have to get it at Whole Food here in the Saint Louis area, but there's a good chance that other places carry it depending on your region. </div>
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You're going to separately prepare the broth and the rest of the ingredients. The bouillon stuff I'm recommending can get a little uneven in consistency and density, so it's best to taste it to make sure it's a consistency you want. Heat the four cups in a pot on the stove. Put on a low setting -- you don't want to boil the hell out of it, you just want it to get warm. Go ahead and get this going on the stove before you start with your other stuff. Also, throw in the bayleaves now so they start to infuse in the broth. </div>
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In a separate pot coat the bottom of a pot with the olive oil and heat it on a medium-high heat. Then add your celery, onions, and carrots. Saute this for several minutes until your onions start to caramelize an the celery start looking a lighter green. Then cut the heat down to medium and add the garlic, seitan, and red pepper flakes. Let this heat up for a good five to seven minutes. </div>
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Pour the broth into the pot and turn the heat back up to medium-high. Then you break up your pasta and throw it in. I suggest you break it into thirds, not halves, otherwise the noodles are a bit long and harder to eat. </div>
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Heat it up to a boil then put the heat back down to medium. Don't crank it up here -- the point is to get a solid but gentle boil. You will cook this for a while until the noodles are nice and soft (well past <i>al dente</i>) and the carrots have pretty much no crunch to them at all. The broth should also soak into the seitan giving it a chicken-y tastes. Be sure to stir regularly. This should take at least 30 minutes but probably no more than an hour. </div>
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On a personal note, in lieu of hair of the dog, this soup is the best hangover remedy I have ever had that didn't involve alcohol. My theory is that this soup will go especially well with a gin and tonic or three, and be pretty much the perfect hangover reprieve. </div>
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<br /></div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09836347048195891733noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-47546686073627448942012-03-01T17:44:00.001-08:002012-03-02T15:08:41.536-08:00The four most annoying types of vegans<br />
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Most people think vegans are annoying, and for good
reason. We are. Generally speaking, our tribe tends to rub people the wrong
way. A lot of that is just because we are different. However, a lot of the
antipathy people have towards vegans is well deserved. So partially in the
interests of showing we vegans can laugh at ourselves (but mostly just because
I like making fun of people), and also because stereotypes are fun, I thought I
would give a list of the four most annoying types of vegans - or rather the four I thought I could come up with enough funny stuff to write about. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Mr. “I’m more
vegan than you”</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Some people don’t go vegan because they want to help animals,
or even for health reasons. Some people go vegan so they can be better than
everyone else. Inevitably, as omnivores (rightly) tell these self-appointed
paragons of virtue to go fuck themselves, they turn their insecurities on the
more patient and iron-deprived vegan community. Often these are so-called “abolitionists”
crusading against the imaginary “welfarists” they constantly see lurking in the
dark corners of the vegan world, who will try to make you feel guilty for
doing anything even remotely resembling what they call “animal exploitation.” Using
the wrong kind of toothpaste? Eating vegan crackers from the wrong manufacturer?
Watching a porno with a cat who’s incidentally in the background grooming
himself, who gets no royalties for his appearance? He will let you know how horrible a person you are, but
at least he’ll be an asshole while doing it. He practices this trait regarding
everything, up to and including chastising your appreciation cinematic classics
that feature animals, such as<i> Every Which Way but Loose</i> and <i>Smokey and the
Bandit 2</i>. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I refuse to sacrifice high
culture just to satisfy the whims of some holier-than-thou jerk.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-le7KEuzb1FE/T1AfH8QZgVI/AAAAAAAAAB4/gkPEHSd-EkI/s1600/every-which-way-but-loose-original.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-le7KEuzb1FE/T1AfH8QZgVI/AAAAAAAAAB4/gkPEHSd-EkI/s320/every-which-way-but-loose-original.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><i>By the way, the Academy’s snubbing of Clyde’s performance will forever be remembered as a black mark on the Oscars.</i></span>
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<b>The perpetually
indignant vegan</b></div>
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People that go around looking for things to be offended
about are going to be successful, and the perpetually indignant vegan certainly
is that. Every small inconvenience and slight is legitimate cause for outrage. The
sky is always falling, and not only is every small vegan-inconveniencing problem
a travesty; it’s a goddamn war crime! Whenever PETA makes a stupid ad with
scantily clad women, these are the first ones to express outrage at how this is
an injustice of the highest order, on par with the Bataan Death March, the
Holocaust, or the Michael Bay <i>Transformers </i>movies.</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-G48rsEIgk3k/T1Af6dR0UoI/AAAAAAAAACA/UW26_B9ACGE/s1600/transformers+ruined+childhood.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-G48rsEIgk3k/T1Af6dR0UoI/AAAAAAAAACA/UW26_B9ACGE/s320/transformers+ruined+childhood.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">That motherfucker retroactively ruined my childhood.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Their pathological pessimism knows no limits regarding
tact or context. But really, what constitutes true injustice? How woman are
stoned to death in Saudi Arabia? Or how children are made into child soldiers
in Africa? Come on – let’s have a little perspective here people! No, the local
bistro taking one of their vegan sandwiches off the menu is obviously a worse
injustice.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-14BR2l-3XeY/T1AhgAyf8zI/AAAAAAAAACI/d20ydbPh7ck/s1600/child_soldier_congo+crying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-14BR2l-3XeY/T1AhgAyf8zI/AAAAAAAAACI/d20ydbPh7ck/s1600/child_soldier_congo+crying.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><i>Sorry Baakir, but Emily not being able to get her bean sprout Panini deserves priority over your petty concerns. Back of the line, asshole!</i></span>
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<b>The “Oh my God,
this is SOOOOOOO good!” vegan</b></div>
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You know the people that think
if it’s vegan then it <i>has</i> to be good?
No matter how shitty or disgusting a dish is, this vegan will insist it’s one
of the best things they have ever eaten. Then the next they try will <i>also</i> be one of the best things ever. And
so on. “Mmmmmm! This vegan lasagna is seriously one of the best things I’ve
ever had in my life!” No it isn’t. The only flavor that reminds you of animal
products is the taste of paste like I used to eat when I was four. “Wow! This
vegan Pad Thai is just <i>amazing</i>!”
Wrong asshole – it tastes like peanut butter flavored toothpaste. In other
words, it sucks. I know cognitive dissonance can be a bitch, but at least <i>try </i>to be discriminating! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--7JgOrxaQrM/T1Ah7KU-XkI/AAAAAAAAACQ/92tesf-r9Z0/s1600/dude+w+pine+cones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--7JgOrxaQrM/T1Ah7KU-XkI/AAAAAAAAACQ/92tesf-r9Z0/s320/dude+w+pine+cones.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><i>“Dude! If we pan sear these with some sawdust, butternut squash, and liquid smoke… OMG it will be sooooo amazing!”</i></span>
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<b>The conspiracy nut
vegan</b></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Think 9/11 was done by the government, who is also
building secret concentration camps for us all in the upcoming American
Holocaust? Believe that ancient aliens build the pyramids and Stonehenge, and gave
King Solomon some sweet pick-up lines so he could fuck all those women? Or that
the illuminati lizard people are responsible for the commercial success of
Nelly? Well then congratulations - this is you! </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Psr0pAqaoc0/T1AipyQjkZI/AAAAAAAAACY/qB9UKRsAJZw/s1600/nelly+lulz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Psr0pAqaoc0/T1AipyQjkZI/AAAAAAAAACY/qB9UKRsAJZw/s320/nelly+lulz.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Okay, maybe there’s actually something to that one.</span></i></td></tr>
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Is there something about veganism that attracts the
wackjobs, or is it a deficiency of B vitamins that make a disproportionate
number of vegans believe stupid, outlandish, crackpot theories? These gullible
idiots will believe anything if it’s insane enough. I’m convinced that if I got
one of them high enough (as most of them are stoners anyway) I could convince
them that the world is governed by a cabal of celebrities that faked their own
deaths, which includes Biggie, Tupac, Elvis, and Ike Turner, who all act at the
behest of their leader, the most powerful and insidious of them all: Charles
Nelson Reilly. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JF3K6RyWhTA/T1Ai8G8wMzI/AAAAAAAAACg/1HyJDPOR3LQ/s1600/Charles+N+Reilly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JF3K6RyWhTA/T1Ai8G8wMzI/AAAAAAAAACg/1HyJDPOR3LQ/s320/Charles+N+Reilly.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">Now that you know the truth, bow to your true overlord</span> .</span></i></td></tr>
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<br /></div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09836347048195891733noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-91607842151383402852011-12-24T12:27:00.000-08:002011-12-24T14:31:40.290-08:00Chili recipe -- my Xmas gift to you!There are a few dishes I feel that I just have down. This includes my <a href="http://redneckvegankitchen.blogspot.com/2011/05/louisiana-style-red-beans-and-rice.html">red beans and rice</a>, and my gumbo (recipe coming soon). The first recipe I ever truly feel like I truly mastered though was my chili. I've been making vegetarian chili for probably 13 years or so now, and I have settled on a basic process -- it's like I make chili on autopilot at this point.<br /><br />A lot of vegan chili recipes call for some sort of fake meat, like tvp, Boca crumbles, or something comparable. I tend to like fake meat products, but for some dishes like this I think it's best to leave out processed stuff when you can. The role of meat in this dish is played by the diced mushrooms. I prefer crimini mushrooms (as I love the flavor they add), but any mushroom will work. Note they are diced, <i>not </i>sliced! For one thing, having little cubes of chewiness is preferable to having large slices for the same reason that having smaller pieces of meat would be better than having large strips or chunks of meat in your chili. If you absolutely must, you can use a meat substitute, and for some things (like gumbo) it's kind of unavoidable to use something processed like that, but I like to avoid it when I can. One day I might experiment with dicing some <a href="http://redneckvegankitchen.blogspot.com/2011/01/lets-start-with-seitan.html">seitan </a>that I make myself, but i don't see it topping mushrooms.<br /><div><br /></div><div>I also don't like majorly non-traditional stuff in my chili -- no celery, no squash, and certainly no fucking carrots. This is not something that is supposed to be a montage of good healthy ingredients, or even stuff that you happen to like. It's supposed to be simple, flavorful, and robust. It's there to kick your ass, not be your artistic medium of culinary expression you fucking hippie. This is chili, not vegetable soup. </div><div><br /></div><div>Another note -- the prep time for this chili is at the least two and a half hours, so keep in mind this is not something you can just whip up at the last minute. </div><div><br /></div><div><u>Ingredients: </u><br /><ul><li>Two medium onions, diced</li><li>One large green bell pepper, diced</li><li>One head (that's right, a whole head) of garlic, minced</li><li>16 oz of mushrooms, diced (I prefer criminis) </li><li>Several tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil</li><li>Red pepper flakes, however much you think you can handle (no more than 3 tablespoons unless you are really bad ass)</li><li>Chili powder, 5-6 tablespoons</li><li>Brown sugar, 4 tablespoons</li><li>Salt, not too much (you can always add salt; you can't take it out)</li><li>Large can of crushed tomatoes</li><li>Large can of diced tomatoes</li><li>Three cans of beans (I used one each of black, red and navy)</li><li>A 12 oz. bottle or can of beer</li></ul><div>Get a good sturdy pot and coat the bottom with your olive oil. Saute your onions and green pepper over medium-high heat. While doing this add at least some of your red pepper flakes. I like to get the heat going in there early. (I like to add more a little later after tasting for a sort of layered effect of the hotness, but that's not necessary at all.) After the onions are getting translucent cut the heat down to medium and add the garlic. Continue the saute for about two minutes and then add the mushrooms. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>Keep the saute going until the mushrooms cook down and are saturated with moisture. Then turn up the heat to high and add the beer. Any type of non-flavored beer works, and will do slightly different things to the chili. I've tried IPAs, lighter wheat ales, darker ales, lagers, and they all work. During the colder months I like to use <a href="http://www.schlafly.com/beers/styles/oatmeal-stout/">Schlafly Oatmeal Stout</a>. Bring that up to a boil and add the chili powder and brown sugar. Keep this boil going for three or so minutes. Be sure to stir it to make sure nothing sticks. </div><div><br /></div><div>After this add all the tomatoes and the beans. I don't drain the beans, I just pour the whole can in there. (Now you can use cooked beans of your own if you want of course, but you will need to add some water.) Bring it up to a simmer. </div><div><br /></div><div>If you happen to do a quick taste at this point don't expect much. It won't taste great. You're going to have let this simmer for at least a couple of hours before it's ready. Make sure to stir it at least every fifteen minutes, scraping the bottom well so nothing sticks for too long. A little sticking will probably happen though, and that's no big deal at all, but you don't want any charring. During this time you can also give it an occasional taste to see if it needs anything, like more chili powder (as all chili powders are not created equal), or more red pepper flakes (or cayenne pepper if you want). </div><div><br /></div><div>So after a few hours you will have a pot of kick ass chili. I like to eat mine over thin spaghetti noodles, also known as chili-mac (which is probably the Midwest's sole positive contribution to Western civilization). </div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09836347048195891733noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-18236163387587488642011-12-11T16:05:00.000-08:002011-12-24T12:58:59.824-08:00Rotel "cheese" dip - way overdue update just in time for bowl season!<a href="http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/484/402/78821639_display_image.jpg?1288821800" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"></a><br />Okay, so I was out drinking last night with friends, and got scolded by <a href="http://www.littleveganthatcould.com/">The Little Vegan that Could</a> for never updating this thing. She's right -- I'm just fucking lazy. Every time I make a new post I resolve to "do better." And I never do. Meh. Whatever. Maybe I will start to post more. We'll see.<br /><div><br /></div><div>So yeah, I've been meaning to share this dip that I whipped up a few weeks ago when I was craving cheese dip. As someone that LOVES college football, I'm glad I managed to get this post down before college bowl season, as this is a vegan take on a tailgating classic. </div><div><br /></div><div>Aside about college football: It's been a great year to be an LSU fan. Not only are we* in the national championship game, but have the chance to become one of the best college football teams of all time. An LSU player -- a DEFENSIVE player no less! -- got invited to the Heisman Trophy presentation. This was a great year for us, and it will be even better after we kick Bama's ass again in Nawlins. Geaux Tigers! </div><div><br /></div><div><i>*Yes, I use the inclusive plural pronoun -- roll your eyes all you want, I really don't give a shit. Plus I actually went to LSU, so I'm not a sidewalk alumnus. </i></div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, this is a food blog, so back to food stuff. Here's how to do it:</div><div><br /></div><div><u>Ingredients</u>: </div><div><ul><li>A can of Rotel (whatever kind you like -- I like the hot kind)</li><li>A can of coconut milk </li><li>4 tablespoons of garlic powder</li><li>5 tablespoon of nutritional yeast flakes</li><li>Arrowroot slurry (3 tablespoons of arrowroot powder mixed with a cup of water)</li><li>Salt to taste</li></ul></div><div>This is super easy to make. Simple heat up the Rotel and c milk in a pot and add the dry ingredients when it start to simmer. Then all the slurry a bit at a time and stir it in. It should start to thicken pretty nicely. Add as much as you want to get your desired thickness. </div><div><br /></div><div>This is great to dip chips in, and will legitimately remind you of the one good use for Velveeta -- making a fake cheese dip, only this time instead of the dairy-infused plastic product you are using coconut milk. This is perfect when you get that craving for food made out of petroleum products. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So enjoy bowl season y'all, and remember, Auburn sucks!</div><div><br /></div><div><div><iframe width="300" height="190" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gwGpWYH8SZs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></div><div><i>Obligatory. Also, my ringtone. </i></div></div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09836347048195891733noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-252298106790660182011-10-06T09:01:00.000-07:002011-10-06T15:51:29.191-07:00Stuff to do with baked potatoesPotatoes are rad. They are easy to prepare, cheap, taste good and aren't inherently bad for you. Okay, about that last part... you know I'm about to suggest some bad-for-you stuff here. That's my shtick I guess, and I like to think I'm pretty good at it.<br />
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Baking a potato is super easy. All you have to really do is nuke it. Sure you could wrap it in foil and bake it for like 40 minutes (or longer), but why bother when you can stick it in the microwave for a few minutes and have a well baked potato? What I do is poke a large potato with a fork several times (after washing it), and stick it in the microwave for five minutes. Then I flip it over and put three more minutes on it. If you prefer the oven method more power to you, but this is more in line with my philosophy of general laziness and doing shit fast.<br />
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A lot of people have a favorite topping they like on baked potatoes, but I thought I would suggest a couple that might seem a little unusual, but really good. The first is margarine and and Italian vinaigrette. It sounds weird, but trust me, Italian dressing is an amazing baked potato topping.<br />
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The other thing I like to do with my baked potatoes is after cutting it open and laying it out, put a <a href="http://www.morningstarfarms.com/morningstar-farms-hickory-bbq-riblets.html">Moningstar Farms Riblet</a> on it. Be sure to get all the sauce out of that packet and put it on the potato; that stuff is really good and it's a shame to waste any of it.<br />
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Speaking of not wasting anything: [*vrrrrooooOOOOOOMMMMM* <i><b>redneck powers engaged</b></i>!]<br />
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Okay, now that you've eaten your potato, you're left with a lot of potential deliciousness that most people just throw away. Yeah, I'm talking about the peels. Here's what I like to do with my left over baked potato peels: wrap them up or put them in a container in the fridge, and when the mood strikes you, throw them in a hot skillet with some oil, maybe some diced onion, and fry those bad boys up. I like to dump ketchup on top and eat this for a snack, though if you save them up you can make a nice little hashbrown-esque breakfast. Other stuff you can add are bell peppers, copped garlic, tomatoes, or pretty much anything else. Hell, I bet some fake sausage stuff would work well, though I've never tried it. Cracked black pepper is also good on it, though honestly if you just fry the potato peels up and add ketchup that's really good on its own.Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-76569334437639319822011-09-05T15:58:00.001-07:002011-09-05T21:46:12.841-07:00RAEG!!!11!1 Self-righteous vegan stupidity<div style="text-align: left;">
If there's one thing that pisses me off about fellow vegans (or anyone, really), it's when they seemingly go around looking for things to get pissed off about. I often say that if you look for something to be offended about then you will invariably be successful. Usually when self-righteous vegans go the "OMFGZ this is SO offensive" route it's in the form of criticizing something an omnivore wrote or said about the vegan diet. Often times this involves simple ignorance or bad logic being misinterpreted (often willfully) for maliciousness and deceit.</div>
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I'm not a guy that goes around being angry all the time. I'm like this in my everyday life, and I take that with me in my animal rights stances. I like to think I take things in stride. Sometimes though, I come across something that legitimately makes me rage, and this often comes in the form of vegans criticizing other, "inferior" vegans. There are two common types of sniping attacks vegans make against other vegans. The first is healthier vegans are better than vegans that eat bad-for-you food. Obviously I don't buy into this "philosophy" at all. I'm vegan for the critters, not for myself. The second type of vegan on vegan crime is a self righteous anti-fake meat position.</div>
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Now if you want to eat your super healthy hippy shit I'm cool with that. Just because I'm willing to put stuff that's less than good for me in my body, and believe that exercise is for women doesn't mean that I expect you to agree, much less live by this ethos. Similarly, while I love fake meat, I realize that the very thought of meat grosses some people out, so if they don't happen to share my personal tastes I try not to take it personally. I mean, that's just more seitan for the rest of us.</div>
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But I refuse to feel guilty because of my tastes, and when some self-righteous asshole tries to put me in my proper "place" I'm gonna call him on his shit! Case in point: <a href="http://www.alternet.org/food/152091">this bullshit</a>.</div>
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Yeah, well I know maybe I should expect this kind of nonsense from a mushy-headed liberal outfit like alternet, but unfortunately this kind of sentiment has a lot of currency within the vegan community at large. There are a lot of high-horse vegans that look down on people like me, that love seitan, <a href="http://www.bocaburger.com/products/chikn.aspx">Boca nuggets and chik patties</a>, and those awesome <a href="http://www.morningstarfarms.com/morningstar-farms-hickory-bbq-riblets.html">Morningstar Riblets</a>.</div>
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This is the thing: I LOVED meat. I didn't give up meat because I didn't like it, but rather because I didn't think it was right to eat it. Giving it up was not easy for me. It was damn hard. Frankly, it would be much harder to be vegan if it weren't for fake meat. So when someone writes something like this, I have to shake my head. </div>
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...the next time you go shopping, imagine what a kid gleans from veggie burgers, veggie bacon, veggie sausage patties, veggie hot dogs, Tofurky and all the other similar fare that defines a modern plant-based diet. While none of it contains meat, it is all marketed as emulating meat. In advertising terms, that’s the “unique selling proposition” -- to give you the epicurean benefits of meat without any of meat’s downsides.</div>
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[This is] the vegetarian industry selling itself to meat eaters by suggesting that its products aren’t actually all that different from meat. The problem is how that message, like so many others in American culture, reinforces the wrongheaded notion that our diet should be fundamentally based on meat.</div>
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For those who have chosen to be vegetarians, this message is merely annoying. But for those like [the author's young son] who are being raised as vegetarians, the message is downright subversive. It teaches them that as tasty as vegetarian food may be, it can never compete with the “real thing.”</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; color: #0000ee;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649028298127351394" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Lle7qkz-Ue4/TmVhTqwCnmI/AAAAAAAAAEM/N0vSCikabew/s400/butthurt.png" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 358px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 361px;" /></span></div>
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Raising your kid vegetarian is great -- if I have kids I plan to do that myself. But if you have trouble coming to terms of how to explain to your kid that seitan, Tofurkey, and fake nuggets are different from meat, well no offense, but maybe you should not have had kids in the first place. Call me crazy, but stuff like sex, drugs and the like are the thing I know that I would worry about, not concern of explaining to my kid why these horrible things called Gardenburgers exist.</div>
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Make no mistake -- this kind of bullshit it NOT about concern for animals. This is about aesthetics. This is about people have an ideological problem with even the idea of consuming animals, and finding animal products undesirable for stylistic reasons rather than ethical ones. Ultimately this kind of all-or-nothing stance is not only detrimental to veganism and animal rights in general, but it's downright cult-like, imposing limitations on not only what we consume but imposing criteria on how we are supposed to <i>think </i>about what we consume. And we wonder why some people associate vegans with being cultist! It's dumbass garbage like this -- some of us unfortunately ARE cultists! (And hiding behind your child to justify your Orwellian views is not only lame, it's fucking pathetic.)</div>
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Like it or not, humans evolved eating meat. Many of us crave it (I know I do), probably for evolutionary reasons. This does not justify it from a moral perspective; just because something is "natural" doesn't make it moral or ethical. We don't need to consume animals to live, or even to live comfortably. Thankfully, thanks to some really great meat substitutes I don't need to kill an animal to get my meat fix. And I know I'm not alone. I honestly don't know if I could be vegan if I could not satiate my meat tooth -- I like to think that I could (I am pretty serious about being vegan), but there would be a lot of people that gave up being vegetarian if you get rid of the fake meat products. </div>
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So you keep brainwashing your child Mr. David Sirota, instilling him with the evils tempeh BLTs and <a href="http://www.lightlife.com/product_detail.jsp?p=tofupups">Tofu Pups</a>. I'll keep making my vegan Alfredo sauce, my awesome seitan, barbecue sandwiches, tacos, and the like. And if you think I'm hurting the movement, then you may kindly kiss my chubby vegan ass.</div>
Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-24205455721587055082011-08-26T18:41:00.000-07:002011-08-26T19:28:35.919-07:00Garlicky Alfredo sauce and Friday night nothingnessI'm insanely bored and restless feeling -- I'm stuck in my home state of Mississippi tonight, alone, listening to Fugazi, and for some reason not getting drunk. So this is as good of a time as any to share something I made last night with the masses (and by masses I mean the three people that will actually read this). <div>
<br /></div><div>I'm visiting my grandfather -- a true Mississippi good ol' boy -- and decided that while I'm here running various errands, I will also use his thoroughly unsophisticated pallet to experiment. I take this as a challenge; if I can make this man, who thinks pork is its own food group, love something that I made then I've accomplished something. I've done this with chili, a dish I've pretty much mastered (I contend that I make the world's best vegetarian chili. No, your's is not better, nor is Isa Moskowitz's or Jesus Christ's -- mine is the best. Game. Set. Match.) </div><div>
<br /></div><div>So, I had a recipe for vegan Alfredo sauce in my head that needed to get out. I made it, and it was a success. He said, he LOVED it. He was amazed that it had no meat or dairy at all in it, which is pretty much what I'm going for. The sacrifice is, of course, health. This is not a healthy dish, but holy Christ Jesus Hisself it's pretty damn good if I do say so myself. </div><div>
<br /></div><div><u>Ingredients:</u></div><div><ul><li>One regular size can of coconut milk</li><li>Several (4-5) tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil</li><li>Half a cup (no more) of all purpose flour</li><li>Several cloves of garlic, finely minced</li><li>Fresh cracked black pepper</li><li>Generic dried Italian seasoning mix</li><li>A glass of water (or veggie broth)</li><li>Salt</li><li>Pasta of your choice (16 oz.) </li></ul></div><div>(You will do this while simultaneously preparing your pasta.)</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Start off by heating the oil in a pan or small pot on medium high heat with your garlic in there. When it starts to fry a little stir it around so it doesn't stick or burn. Then you want to add your flour to make a roux. Add it slowly, a little at a time. You don't want to add too much; ideally you want the same amount of flour and oil. You will stir it for a couple of minutes. You don't want to cook the roux too long because you want a light one for this dish. Also, be sure to keep stirring! A burned roux is not a good thing. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Add the can of coconut milk and stir it well. The roux will be stuck to the bottom, so make good and sure you get it all. While that heats up add a good bit of fresh cracked black pepper and your Italian seasoning. Stir it in and notice that the consistency of the sauce is like a gravy. (In fact, your sauce should look a lot like white sausage gravy.) You will add water or broth a little bit at a time, stirring it in until it's a proper consistency. Add salt to taste. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Pour is over your prepared pasta in a large pot or some other appropriate serving receptacle. This can feed three hungry people. It's good. </div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-32719101559657932942011-08-14T13:08:00.000-07:002011-08-14T13:45:05.555-07:00Tacos<div>It's been too long. Well I will try to do better. This blog doesn't have a huge following anyway, but that certainly won't change if I insist on going awol for months at a time. </div><div>
<br /></div>For this you will need to make <a href="http://redneckvegankitchen.blogspot.com/2011/01/lets-start-with-seitan.html">my seitan</a>. (Other, inferior seitan might also work.) You need about 2 cups or so. I like them sliced into strips. It gives them a steak-like feel. If that freaks you out, well sorry, but some of us vegans miss meat and liked it. So deal. <div>
<br /></div><div><u>Ingredients: </u></div><div><ul><li>2 cups of sliced seitan </li><li>1/2 medium onion, diced</li><li>Extra virgin olive oil </li><li>Shredded lettuce or greens</li><li>8 hard taco shells </li><li>2 tablespoons taco seasoning (you can sub chili powder in a pinch)</li><li>A small glass of water</li><li>Whatever extras you want (salsa, pico de gallo, <a href="http://redneckvegankitchen.blogspot.com/2011/05/guacamole-kiss.html">guacamole</a>, taco sauce, sour cream, whatever)</li></ul></div><div>First, prepare your taco shells. Try to time it where they are warm when ready to eat. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Saute the diced onion on medium-high heat for a couple on minutes until it starts to get a little translucent. Add the seitan and cook for several minutes until good and hot, and starting to brown a little. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Add the taco seasoning and stir it in. It will be dry, which is where the water comes in. Pour a little in, and savor that cool hissing sound. You will add it until the bottom is good and watery. (Add a little at a time so you don't add too much.) You shouldn't be adding more than a few tablespoons. The goal is to make the tacos really good and tender, not to make fajita soup. If you do add a little much you can boil it out. Otherwise cover it for a couple of minutes. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>It should be really tender and ready to put into your prepared taco shells. Add the shredded lettuce and whatever else you want. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>This is a pretty simple and very good meal. It's easy to make -- the hardest part is the cleaning. But that's what women are for, right?</div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-38367254293399973392011-05-17T10:11:00.000-07:002011-10-06T09:06:54.763-07:00Louisiana style red beans and rice<div>
Living (currently) as a southern boy transplanted to the midwest, one thing that I see constantly done wrong here is red beans and rice. Most people around here have no clue what real, Louisiana style red beans and rice is like. When I first moved to Saint Louis almost five years ago I was really stoked about all the vegetarian and vegan options there are for eating out. (Many of the local veggies here bitch, which I marvel at; Saint Louis is likely the most underrated vegan friendly city in the country -- and I've been to the supposed vegan meccas of Portland and San Francisco.) So imagine my horror when I order "red beans and rice"as a vegan selection on a local bar's menu and get basically whole kidney beans with a thin soupy broth served over rice. </div>
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First of all red beans and rice are NOT made with kidney beans. Understand that. True red beans and rice use the small red beans. Furthermore, the finished product is not simply whole beans in a broth, but creamy and thick, and not soupy at all. </div>
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<u>Ingredients:</u></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>One pound (regular 16 oz. package) of small red beans</li>
<li>4 stalks celery, chopped</li>
<li>1 green bell pepper, diced</li>
<li>1 medium onion, diced</li>
<li>1 head of garlic (yes, a whole head), minced</li>
<li>4 decent sized sprigs rosemary, finely chopped</li>
<li>5 bayleaves </li>
<li>1/2 tablespoon red pepper flakes</li>
<li>One regular (32 oz.) carton of vegetable broth</li>
<li>Extra virgin olive oil</li>
<li>Salt </li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
The first thing you do is soak your beans overnight in plenty of water. The alternative to this is the quick soak method. The quick soak method is basically boiling the ever living shit out of dry beans for a few minutes, then taking them off the heat and letting them sit for an hour. It works, but I recommend an overnight soak, as the beans end up a better, more evenly cooked finished product. </div>
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After your beans are soaked the next step is to cook them. Throw out the soaking water and replace it with until the beans are well covered with water. Boil them for an hour with your bayleaves. After they are done drain them set them to the side. </div>
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Saute your onions, bell pepper, and celery on high heat until the onions start to caramelize. Turn your heat down to medium and add the garlic and the red pepper flakes. (If you think you are bad ass you can add a whole tablespoon, but any more than that and I think the heat starts to take away from the flavor of the red beans.) Stir this for a few minutes making sure it doesn't burn, then add half of your veggie broth. </div>
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Bring everything up to a vigorous boil and add half of your rosemary. Let it boil for a three or so minutes, then add your drained, cooked red beans (with the bayleaves) and the rest of your veggie broth. Bring it up to a boil then turn the heat down a little to medium-high. You want a good simmer going on here -- you don't want a full boil but you also don't want a light simmer either. These need to cook about an hour and a half. You need to be sure to stir regularly to make sure the beans don't stick to the bottom and burn. You will also need to add some water a couple of times (a cup or so at a time) as it cooks down. About 45 minutes or so into this process add the rest of the rosemary. Also, take a little taste and add salt accordingly. </div>
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Another thing that I like to do toward the end, but is optional, is to take a potato masher and mash the beans up a bit. This gets them a little creamier, which I like. </div>
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Serve over rice. Choose your own beans to rice ratio. You can add some hot sauce if you want. Also, this is one of those dishes that's better the next day, so don't eat it all up immediately. </div>
Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-85719669072119143102011-05-11T14:03:00.001-07:002011-05-11T14:40:42.407-07:00Side dish: roasted cauliflowerI'm a true food nerd. Often times I have a recipe in my head that I just have to try out. These ideas for dished just pop into my head form time to time. A couple of months ago I had dinner with some friends who made a simple and delicious roasted cauliflower dish that was styled on Indian cuisine. They just took various spices and coated cauliflower florets with and roasted it. Cauliflower already has a pretty good natural taste to it in my opinion, and the spice combination did a decent job of complimenting this natural flavor. <div><br /></div><div>Ever since then, and after tweaking and "perfecting"* my marinade, I've been thinking of how to take the great interaction that exists between chili powder and brown sugar and add it to other dishes. For some reasons combining those two ingredients seems to give rise to a new flavor that is better than the sum of their parts. So I decided that instead of using Indian spices I would experiment and alter my marinade to work as a spice mixture with which to roast cauliflower. </div><div><br /></div><div>So here's what I did -- and it was good. </div><div><br /></div><div><u>Ingredients:</u></div><div><ul><li>One head of cauliflower</li><li>1/2 cup of soy sauce</li><li>1/8 cup white vinegar</li><li>2.5 tablespoons of chili powder</li><li>3 tablespoons of brown sugar</li></ul></div><div>Chop the head of cauliflower into florets and set it aside. Add all the other ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir well until well mixed. Add the florets a few at a time and stir into the spice mixture, making sure each piece is coated, after which you will add it to a roasting pan or casserole dish. Keep doing this until all the cauliflower is covered. Put it in preheated oven at 425F uncovered for 10 minutes. Then take it out and stir it, and put it back in for another 10 minutes. </div><div><br /></div><div>That should do it. If you don't think there is enough of the spice mixture (some cauliflower heads are bigger than others) then add more of each ingredient. This dish goes really well with my meatloaf. I had it the other night. </div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-40699554208924065022011-05-01T14:50:00.000-07:002011-05-01T15:16:15.714-07:00Guacamole -- K.I.S.S.I had a bit of a get-together yesterday. I'm not allowed to drink alone any more, so I have to invite people over when I want to get drunk. And while I was at it I figured I should <del>set things on fire in my backyard</del> have a barbecue. Anyway, this isn't another grilling post. I just got a request for the recipe for my guacamole, which by my own admission is pretty damn good. Avocados were on sale at Whole Paycheck for a buck each, so I grabbed seven and decided to make a nice big bowl. I'm going to keep this recipe smaller though. <div><br /></div><div>The trick to making good guacamole is, in my opinion, keeping it pretty simple. You don't need to add a lot of ingredients. This goes along with my general opinion on cooking and food prep in general, which is that you want to use as few ingredients as possible when making anything. This is a constant topic of debate between me and my friend Anna, which is fine. She's a sweet girl and completely entitled to her wrong-ass opinion. </div><div><br /></div><div><u>Ingredients:</u></div><div><u></u></div><div><ul><li>2 avocados</li><li>1/2 medium red onion, diced</li><li>3-4 cloves of garlic, minced</li><li>6 grape tomatoes, quartered </li><li>1 small lime wedge</li><li>1/4 teaspoon of salt</li></ul></div><div>Mix this up however you see fit. If your avocados are not that ripe then you can put the lime juice and the tomatoes in first, as the acidity will break the avocados down a bit. Also, this is one of the things I like to just mix using my (usually washed) hands; you can squish it around pretty good and mix it fairly easily. </div><div><br /></div><div>You can of course, as with pretty much anything else I put on this blog, adjust this as you see fit. If you have regular or roma or cherry tomatoes those will work. You can add a little cayenne pepper if you want a kick, or cilantro if you want to make it disgusting. (Sorry, I know this sounds insane to some people, but I do not like cilantro -- I think it tastes like soap.) </div><div><br /></div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-15158068566154780462011-04-27T20:10:00.000-07:002011-04-27T22:19:53.535-07:00Setting shit on fire, portabellas, and the ultimate marinade<div style="text-align: left;">The weather is starting to get somewhat warm, so that means going outside and setting shit on fire -- a practice otherwise frowned upon in our society -- is perfectly acceptable under the auspices of "grilling." Now we all know that grilling is really just an excuse to satiate our barbaric pyromaniac tendencies. I don't care what those silly hippie ass raw foodists say; it's natural baby! The human race has been burning the ever living shit out anything and everything that's even halfway edible for thousands of years now, and I do mean <a href="http://www.food.com/recipe/grilled-watermelon-317554">anything </a>and <a href="http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/easy/smoky-summer-recipe-grilled-guacamole-120043">everything</a>.</div><div><br /></div><div><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-n1qJq09AVM0/TbjfiLMno9I/AAAAAAAAACo/t74R5sathGY/s400/really%2Bstupid.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 286px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600471914849477586" /><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span">Yes, this is me. Yes, I was drunk. Yes, this is really fucking stupid. </span></i></div><div><br /></div><div>Well since we are playing with fire, and doing so under the auspices of cooking, I figure we might as well want to do a halfway decent job while we're at it. There are several awesome things to cook on the grill. Hippie dogs are good; my favorite variety is the Yves'. Corn in the husk is great, though I suggest you soak them in water first (and add a little <a href="http://shop.tonychachere.com/seasonings-c-8030.html">Tony Chachere's seasoning</a> while eating). There are other obvious things like seitan, burgers, various veggies, etc. My favorite thing to grill though by far are portabella mushrooms. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm talking about those big boys they sell that look like small umbrellas. If you are gonna buy these then I suggest that you buy them in bulk. You can get really good deals at farmer's markets. You will be amazed how cheaply you can get some. </div><div><br /></div><div>The great thing about portabellas is that they are great for marinating and grilling. They are very porous and taste amazing after being grilled. I developed a marinade especially for grilling portabellas that I'm pretty damn proud of, and can be used for all kinds of things, grilling or not. Anyway, here are the ingredients: </div><div><ul><li>One cup soy sauce</li><li>One cup veggie broth</li><li>1/4 cup white vinegar</li><li>5 tablespoons brown sugar</li><li>3-4 tablespoons chili powder</li><li>3 tablespoons olive oil</li></ul><div>Add this all together and that's it. I suggest you allow at least and hour to marinate the mushrooms in a plastic bag or whatever you want to use; I like to use large plastic bags as I can freeze and reused the marinade. This stuff also goes well with squash (marinated), seitan (brushed on while on the grill), and even brussel sprouts (though you need to marinate for a while), and will certainly work with lots of stuff I have not even thought of yet. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>Good luck and enjoy this excuse to go outside and burn things! </div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-51642301365979118922011-03-19T07:34:00.000-07:002011-03-20T15:52:53.335-07:00"Meat"loaf, thoughts, excuses, and whatnotI told myself when I created this blog that I would never let it go this long without an entry. And of course I did. Oh well. I've been dealing with a lot of family and other personal stuff lately. My redneck grandmother just passed away, and I have been doing what I can for my redneck family to give them all the white trash support they needed. <div><br /></div><div>Anyway, I thought I should post a recipe for meatless meatloaf and give a few thoughts on making it. Faux meatloaf is something I have been trying to perfect for a while now. I could always manage to make it taste pretty good, but I could never really get the consistency right. It was always too crumbly, falling apart whenever I tried to cut it with my fork. I got a couple of more ideas to try out after having a really great fake meatloaf at a vegetarian restaurant here in Saint Louis. It tasted great, and didn't fall apart when eating it. I asked our server how it was made and he said with just a handful of ingredients. </div><div><br /></div><div>I think the problem with my meatloaf before was that I was simply putting too many ingredients in it. I was basically trying to copy real meatloaf recipes, and they would add lots of stuff like ketchup or barbecue sauce, which would loosen the consistency, which was easily made up for by adding eggs. Egg substitute, in my experience, simply doesn't work all that well. So first I simply stopped adding anything to the mixture that would make the final product too loose. </div><div><br /></div><div>The other end of the consistency issue is to find something better to bind it, and I think I found a pretty good solution to this. Instead of adding regular bread crumbs I used crumbs made from a bagel in a food processor. Bagels are sticky enough that the crumbs do an excellent job of holding the mixture together. </div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, one thing i was doing with my "meat"loaf was simply making it too high. You don't want to loaf to be more than two inches thick. This makes it much easier to cut. </div><div><br /></div><div>Okay here is a recipe that should make you a pretty good vegan meatloaf:</div><div><br /></div><div><u>Ingredients:</u></div><div><ul><li>16 oz of fake meat (I used <a href="http://www.matchmeats.com/index.php">Match</a>, but <a href="http://www.lightlife.com/product_detail.jsp?p=gimmeleanbeef">Gimmie Lean</a>, <a href="http://www.bocaburger.com/products/crumbles.aspx">Boca Crumbles</a> or even TVP should work fine)</li><li>Half a medium onion, diced</li><li>Several (4 or 5) cloves of garlic, minced</li><li>Bagel crumbs from one bagel (made in a blender or food processor)</li><li>One tablespoon (several sprigs) of finely clopped fresh rosemary</li><li>Olive oil</li><li>Liquid smoke</li><li>Ketchup or barbecue sauce (for the glaze)</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><u>Process:</u></div><div>Saute the onions in a pan, adding the garlic after they start to caramelize. Set aside and mix together all the ingredients except for the ketchup for the glaze. Form into two elongated loaves, about six inches long, two inches wide, and one and a half or so high. Form a shallow channel down the middle going the length of each loaf. Add your glaze, spreading generously on the top and on the sides of the loaves. </div><div><br /></div><div>Cover with foil and bake in a greased making dish or cast iron skillet at 425F for an hour. Take out and remove the foil and add more ketchup glaze, and put back in the oven for another 15 minutes and that's it. </div><div><br /></div><div>I really like the flavor of rosemary in this dish. I'm a fan of rosemary anyway (it's probably my favorite herb), but it goes especially good in this dish. This "meat"loaf goes very well with salad, mashed potatoes, rice, or pretty much anything nice and starchy. </div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-21235161908717599652011-01-29T14:17:00.000-08:002011-01-29T15:20:09.147-08:00Barbecue sauce from scratchI love a good barbecue sauce. I like a good traditional Kansas City style sauce -- that's a sweet tomato based sauce that most commercial sauces are based on. I've made my own years ago, and it turned out okay, but not good enough that i would want to try to recreate it. Plus I didn't totally even remember what I did, so I started over, and created a recipe of my own based on bits and pieces of informations from various recipes. <div><br /></div><div>One thing I noticed is that most recipes called for ketchup. Now I love ketchup, and I an almost religious admirer of Heinz ketchup, but I wanted a more made from scratch thing here. I take pride in my cooking, and making barbecue sauce that's little more than suped-up ketchup isn't really my style. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, based on all this I'm going to give the following recipe. This will make a a sweet and tomatoey sauce. </div><div><br /></div><div><u>Ingredients: </u></div><div><ul><li>One large can of crushed tomatoes</li><li>Half of a small red onion, finely chopped</li><li>Five to seven cloves of garlic, finely minced</li><li>White vinegar -- 1/3 cup</li><li>Liquid smoke -- 1/2 teaspoon (a cap full)</li><li>Soy sauce -- 1/4 cup</li><li>Brown sugar -- 1/3 cup</li><li>Regular yellow mustard -- 1 teaspoon</li><li>Crushed red pepper -- 1 teaspoon for a mild sauce (up to a couple of tablespoons if you are bad ass)</li><li>Arrowroot powder -- make a slurry of several tablespoons.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><u>Process:</u></div><div>Heat up some olive oil in a sauce pan on medium-high heat, and add the onions. Cook a couple of minutes until translucent, then put your heat down to medium and ass the red pepper flakes and the garlic. </div><div><br /></div><div>After a couple of minutes (watch your garlic -- don't let it burn) add the vinegar, soy sauce, and the liquid smoke and turn the heat back up to med-high. When it gets boiling pour in the tomatoes, brown sugar, and mustard. </div><div><br /></div><div>Stir all this together well and let it simmer (turn back down to med-low) for about 40 minutes, stirring every few minutes so it doesn't stick. </div><div><br /></div><div>After it's cooked for about 40 minutes stir in your arrowroot slurry a bit at a time. It should thicken as it heats up. Allow it to simmer another minute or two -- it should be noticeably thicker. </div><div><br /></div><div>At this point you have a pretty decent sauce, but it will be a bit chunky. Ladle the sauce out of the pan into a blender, and blend the mixture well. Let cool, and refrigerate. </div><div><br /></div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-28463598342005257692011-01-15T14:22:00.000-08:002011-01-15T14:27:13.768-08:00Eggplant red Thai curry<div><p class="MsoNormal">So I decided that I was going to try to make red curry for the first time ever last night. I think the heartiness and bad-for-you high calorie and fat content of this dish makes it sufficiently redneck enough. Now for some reason I have always had a bit of trouble making Asian foods more than any other, and my downstairs smoke detector always goes off whenever I try. (I think my smoke detector is racist.) </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Often when I decide I’m going to make something for the first time I will browse around other recipes online and try to formulate my own recipe. From there I can usually create a good recipe that I think will work best. That’s what I did here, lurking around various sites, making mental and sometimes actual notes on what to do, until finally I developed what seemed like a process that would work. And it did – quite well actually. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Most red curry recipes out there are for chicken curry, though a lot is for tofu. While I like the tofu curries that I have had when I go out to eat (St. Louis has really good Thai restaurants by the way), I don’t particularly like cooking with tofu at home. I don’t hate it or anything, but it’s a bit of a process to get it drained and marinated and all (which I do by freezing then thawing and squeezing). I decided that I was going to use eggplant, as eggplant is pretty hearty, and will often work well in lieu of meat. I ended up going to the cool little ethnic food market here in town (Jay’s International) to get the necessary ingredients. They had these cool little cans of red curry paste which were perfect. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, the curry turned out really well, enough to where I feel pretty confident giving this recipe out for mass consumption:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u>Ingredients:</u></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"></p><ul><li>Two Chinese eggplants (or one regular eggplant), diced into largish chunks</li><li>One medium-small red onion, sliced <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></li><li>One green bell pepper, sliced</li><li>Five cloves of garlic, minced</li><li>8 oz or so of sliced button mushrooms</li><li>Several tablespoons of red curry paste (exact amount may vary)</li><li>A light oil (I used Canola)</li><li>One (normal sized) can of light coconut milk</li><li>Three tablespoons of soy sauce</li></ul><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Note: I don’t like dicing the onions and peppers for this dish like I would a soup or a chili. For a curry I think it’s good to leave the pieces a little longer. Most pieces were around an inch long. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u>Cooking:</u></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Get a wok (or a large pan of some sort) and heat up several tablespoons of oil (enough oil to coat the bottom well) using medium-high heat. Throw in the eggplant, pepper and onions at the same time, and stir fry until the eggplant starts to get saturated and the onions begin to get translucent. Then turn the heat down to medium and add the garlic and the mushrooms, and keep stir frying until the mushrooms are saturated. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then add your curry paste. I should note here that not all curry pastes are created equal, so you might need to use more of some types than of others. Most of the time you will use between three and six tablespoons, but if you like it hotter and more flavorful then feel free to go crazy. Stir in your curry paste well, then add the coconut milk and the soy sauce. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Turn the heat down to medium-low and let it simmer for a few minutes. Also, you might want to take a taste to see if it needs anything (most likely either curry paste or soy sauce). Serve this over your favorite rice (I like white jasmine rice) and eat. Yum. This was pretty good. </p></div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-9116553261051725922011-01-09T09:30:00.000-08:002011-01-09T09:31:34.689-08:00Product review: Frieda’s Soy Taco<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >Every now and then I will provide a review for a product here at RVK. These posts will be fairly short and straightforward for the most part. I will provide a grade ranging from A to F, as well as more specific grades like A- and C+. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >My first review is of the meat alternative Frieda’s Soy Taco. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >This is meat alternative made from soy protein. I had a hankerin’ for some tacos, and was planning on getting the Boca meatless crumbles and use some taco seasoning that I had gotten from Trader Joe’s. Well, I live in south city St. Louis, and no, it’s not the cool part. It’s a more middle-low income area where they don’t carry some meatless stuff on a consistent basis, so although this place (a Schnuck’s in south city) has had them before, they didn’t this time. So I decided to look in the hippie section of the produce department where they sell the tofu, some fake dogs, and the like, hoping to find a tube of SmartLife fake ground beef. No luck. But they did have Freida’s Soy Taco, so I figured what the hell; I was too lazy to drive to the Dierberg’s a few miles away. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >All in all, it was good not great. I used some regular taco shells and some shredded spring greens, and I was not disappointed in the tacos at all. It was spiced pretty well. It had a taco flavor to it so I didn’t have to add anything to it. Now they were a little acidic – a little too vinegary. But in a pinch, this product makes some pretty decent tacos pretty quickly, and isn’t too expensive. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >Grade: B </span></p>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7799889382116036859.post-40624126216281946012011-01-05T21:22:00.000-08:002011-12-24T22:42:20.567-08:00Let's start with seitan<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
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Okay, this is the first post for RVK. Welcome. I made this blog because I think that too often vegan food blogs more concerned with either making healthy food or making stuff that conspicuously uses exotic ingredients. Why can’t vegans just have simple food that tastes good without concern for making sure it’s made of stuff you can’t pronounce and has so much fiber that you might as well throw it in the toilet and cut out the middleman? <br />
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Well, I guess I will jump right in with a recipe, and seitan seems like the best place to start, since it can be used to make so many hearty things like barbecue sandwiches, tacos, “beef” stew, and plenty of other cool dishes. Lots of people are intimidated by the thought of making seitan, and I can understand as there are several steps to the process, and hence more chances to screw up. But if you get the process down it’s actually pretty easy. <br />
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This is my own recipe. I have been making seitan for the better part of a decade, and while I found a lot of good recipes (such as from the Veganomicon), I have always thought I could improve it. So over the years I have modified existing recipes and proportions and basically experimented. So this recipe is the culmination of years of fiddling around, and one grand accident, where I found the secret ingredient. I ran out of olive oil when making seitan one day, and was too lazy to run to the store. But what I did have was some toasted sesame oil. So I tried it, and the seitan was phenomenal. You come across some of the best discoveries by accident, and this is perhaps the best culinary accident I have ever made. Anyway, the recipe…</div>
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<i>Here's what you need and the amounts*:</i></div>
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<u>Dry ingredients</u></div>
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<li>2.25 cups of vital wheat gluten flour</li>
<li>7 tablespoons nutritional yeast flakes</li>
<li>4 tablespoons of garlic powder</li>
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<u>Wet ingredients</u></div>
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<li>1 cub of broth</li>
<li>0.5 cups soy sauce</li>
<li>5 tablespoons toasted sesame oil</li>
<li>1 teaspoon liquid smoke</li>
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*This makes a pretty large batch of seitan. If you want to make a smaller batch just use half of everything.</div>
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You want to thoroughly mix the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients together, separately. Then, in a large mixing bowl, add the wet to the dry. Some people suggest using a spoon for this, but I just use my hands.<br />
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You are going to want to kneed this for several minutes until the dough is nice and elastic. Then I roll in into a log shaped form several inches thick and slice pieces about half to three-quarters inches each.</div>
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Then you put them into a stock pot with 10 cups of cool broth. You can add some soy sauce the broth if you like. It doesn't have to be cold -- room temperature is fine -- but it can't be warm. The turn the heat on high and bring it up to a boil. After it's boiling, put the heat on medium low (high enough to where it still simmers) and cover for an hour.</div>
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After it’s simmered for an hour, drain the seitan through a strain and then you let it cool. When it's cooled off then you will need to squeeze the excess broth out. It will be pretty watery if you don't do this.<br />
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This recipe makes the best seitan I have ever had. My omnivorous mother told me it actually tastes like meat. I plan to put a lot of recipes on here that use seitan, so I will probably refer back to this recipe quite a bit. Enjoy! </div>Gregatronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879623773523054029noreply@blogger.com8